Without choice, there's no energy in evaluating options. My sense is that the privilege of having options actually generates a great deal of anxiety. if you don't have any choices, you'll never make the wrong one - because there's only one choice.
I'm choosing to leave myself no choice at all.
If the lives of a million people could be saved at the cost of your own, would you be willing to make the sacrifice? If not a million people, is there any number? How many of us are willing to sacrifice ourselves for one other?
This gets to the core of how we are wired. Right now, if someone came to your door and told you that one person in your household would need to be sacrificed for humanity to continue, and it was just you and your spouse. Who would you choose? Who would your spouse choose?
My guess is that very few people would choose themselves. We would justify why it should be us. We might even live with the guilt for the rest or lives, but strive every single day to live up to the reason we gave to choose ourselves.
I guess it really depends WHO would be saved, right? I bet most parents would take the fall for a child. And all the military hero's who make the ultimate sacrifice die for their country? I am betting it was really their family... not a bunch of arrogant Americans they never met. How many question whether or not their country is worth dying for before putting themselves in harms way? It comes down to what we value most, and for many duty carries a heavy weight (and obligation).
How many american were killed for wars we never should have fought? Decisions made in the face of fear often have dire consequences. And those making the decisions, who are not impacted by those decisions themselves, are the most dangerous.
I would stand up and state: If the lives of the ten most important people on my list would be saved, then I would be willing to die. Because if all those people died, my life would be empty without them. One person, not likely - I have others to lean on. But all of them, I feel would justify it.
What I hope this exercise does for you is make you realize that no sacrifice you could make while living could measure up to the price you'd pay with your own life... so make all the tiny sacrifices your friends need you to.
It's through millions of small sacrifices that we build and maintain community. A strong community carries all of us through difficult times.
When someone is unwilling to make the same sacrifice you would, it's a choice they've made... and everyone is entitled to make their own choice. You will never be able to understand the true motivations behind the choice they make - I don't think they even truly know.
We are all victims of circumstance. Many of us have lived a life of fortune - that is, we've been blessed with a series of fortunate events, largely due to the sacrifices of our parents.
To a large degree however, the decisions we make, the choices of will or won't determine our circumstances. In this way, we are mostly voluntary victims. A source of self confidence is in recognizing that you control your circumstances - that you take responsibility for the choices you've made which have led the circumstances you now find yourself - good or bad.
If we are victims of circumstance, then we can learn to thrive as victims.
When presented with infinite choices, which one do we choose? Something that struck me in our Year to Live course was given the prognosis that you were given limited time to live, how would you?