"Worry costs much and accomplishes little."
There's no use worrying about the things you can’t control, and there's no value in worrying about the things you can control... because if you can control them, there’s no need to worry.
Instead, put your energy into finding solutions to the solvable problems in your life.
Today, I'm making a list of the things within my control and outside my control. I am going to let go of the weight of worry that I've been needlessly carrying for years.
When a worry arises (and I know it will), I will remind myself of the truth with this mantra:
Is this problem within my control? If so, what's a potential solution? I will solve it in time if it's meant to be.
Is this a problem beyond my control? If so, I'll let it be until I find a way to be part of the solution.
Ask: What problems am I worried about that are beyond my control? Instead: What are the problems I'm ignoring that I can allocate energy to solving?
Worry robs resources. It drains your limited energy that would be better spent on actually doing the work (often trial & error) that would likely prevent the problem that is causing the worry in the first place.
Ask: What are their worries that others carry that am I capable of solving?
It's time to redirect your worry energy towards the productive. I first heard this from Bob Parsons when he explained in our interview (I'm paraphrasing):
Determine the worst possible outcome. Can you live with yourself if it came to be? If so, then put it on a shelf and focus all your energy on doing what you can to avoid the worst possible outcome.
If you are burning up energy on worry and the worry is your focus, then there's less likely to be enough energy to do the work necessary. As a result, worry becomes your worst enemy and since you are the source of your worry - you are you own worst enemy! Don't be!
Consider the worst and have a plan in the event it actual unfolds (which is unlikely, trust me). Next, seek out alternatives. Who would I seek out for advice later and why can't I ask them now?
Is knowledge the key to conquering worry?
Here are 6 questions to help yourself!
Is it a worry or an current problem?
Worry is anticipating a future problem now. It's the sister of regret, where we fret over past decisions. Worry is were we fret about decisions not yet made.
Triggers: A perceived state of danger. Lack of attending to an important matter.
Side Effects: Anxiety, Depression, Ulcers, Heart Attacks.
Mantra: I'll worry about that later - during my worry time.
Do you worry about hurting someone's feelings? Worry about whether or not you'll upset them? If you are worried about someone else feelings, which you'll never control, you are worrying about something outside your control.
Does it serve me to worry about nuclear war? Is there anything I can actually do that would make a difference?
Does it serve me to worry about an earthquake?
Preparedness is the antidote for worry. But if you live your life trying to be prepared for whatever might happen, you will be preoccupied with preparedness, missing out on all the joys of living in the now. I also believe that worry is a program that eats up memory and taxes our CPU. The long-term effects are not good.
"Worrying does not empty tomorrow of it's troubles, it empties today of its strength." ~ Corrie Ten Boom (Holocaust survivor)
Does worry consume you? What worries you most?
Is it something needs to be address right now? Can it? Should it wait?
What are the ramifications of ignoring it?
That which we resists, persists.
The more I go out of my way to avoid worry, the more it disrupts my program.
"If something is wrong, fix it if you can. But train yourself not to worry. Worry never fixes anything [action does]." ~ Ernest Hemingway
Let the worry either be your catalyst to start a plan from, or decide that the worry is unjustified (like many first world problems are), then note it as such by crossing it out.
If the worry that consumes you stems from first world problems, you are giving too much merit to the minutia. Are you letting trivial matters rule your world?
When I was in corporate sales, I vividly remember a common goal in sales training was to 'discover what keeps the CEO awake at night.' It seemed logical that if you offered a solution to address the worry of the man in charge, you'd make a sale.
This reveals an indication that a marketer is behind the message. It's the job of marketers to exaggerate the error and lead us down a path to purchase whatever they've got to remedy it.
There's a disease, and they've got the antidote you need.
What is the antidote for worry?
How do you deal with worry? Here are a few programs to try:
Worrying about the future is tempting, but useless. Do the best you can with what's right in front of you and the future will fall into place.
I recall the best advice I got on worry came from Bob Parsons. To paraphrase what he said, "Accept the worst possible outcome, if it were to occur, could you live with yourself? If so, put it on the shelf and move forward. You've already acknowledged it. No need to dwell on it any longer."