"It is only by experience that we find out how hard it is to attain the state of nonattachment." - Mahatma Gandhi
The ultimate goal of detachment is engagement. (p.185 - The Road Back to You)
If you're familiar with the Enneagram, nonattachment is the virtue we want to move to from avarice. The most effective way to prevent avarice is through self-discipline and moderation in all aspects of life. Making wise decisions when spending money, balancing your life between work, leisure, and family obligations, and not giving in to the temptation of acquiring more than you need are all important steps that can help prevent avarice. In addition to these practical steps, type 5's are encourage to cultivate contentment, compassion, and gratitude to limit avarice. It's about learning to appreciate what you already have (vs. constantly seeking more). Nonattachment helps us avoid unhealthy materialistic tendencies. Nonattachment is the virtue that provides an antidote to the Type 5 passion of avarice. In nonattachment, this type gladly opens up to feeling their emotions when others come close to them to give them attention and love. They move closer to others more easily. They learn to act from their hearts and to live in a more embodied way. They feel connected to everything and everyone, and are not afraid to occupy their bodies and own their feelings. They feel energized by more ongoing contact with their own life force and live more fully with joy and less planning. They break away from the belief that their own energy is limited so they can give more to others without hoarding. When 5s achieve a state of nonattachment-not only to space, time, and energy, but also to knowledge they live from a remembrance of their real selves and realize that they don't need to know everything. They recognize that storing knowledge inside themselves is pointless. They come to know that they can access all the information and wisdom they need by connecting to a universal database of intuitive knowing that is available to all of us when we are in touch with our higher selves. The state of nonattachment is characterized by an experience of love, unity, and connection with other people and with the universe. We experience this state, not in our heads, but in our hearts. It's a state of connectedness with all of reality in which we realize we are all interconnected, interdependent, and intrinsically inseparable. This means that we can stop seeking privacy and isolation, and stop disconnecting from our hearts, from people, or from the immense flow of life all around us. We can give more of ourselves to others more generously. It is important here to clearly differentiate the state of "nonattachment" from the state of "detachment." Nonattachment is a state in which the heart is totally open. Detachment is a part of the deadened state of the false self. The Type 5 ego drives 5s to detach and disconnect from feelings and people by shutting down the emotions and the possibility of connecting with others. But nonattachment helps them to wake up and reanimate by encouraging a more courageous openness to real feelings and connections without fear of being overwhelmed or feeling empty. If you identify as a Type 5, here are some actions you can take to work against the tendencies fueled by avarice. By taking these steps, you can live more from a state of nonattachment:
Overcome the fear of not receiving enough from those you expect to give you attention, care, and love.
Resist expecting things from people and try not to disconnect from them. Stay completely open for an authentic, mutual exchange.
Approach people on your own initiative, with a true sense of openness. Encounter others, not only from your head, but also from your heart and your gut, so you can fully participate in emotional and sensory interactions.
Be present to whatever is happening and whoever is with you in the moment. Let yourself be loved abundantly or left alone in solitude, without closing down to experiencing life as it comes.
Be willing and open to receive whatever life brings you, without trying to control what happens. Go with the flow of whatever occurs in your life without needing to plan ahead.
Connect with your life force more fully and actively develop more zest for life.
Let go of the need to demonstrate that you know everything by appreciating the humility of not knowing and valuing the experience of the simpler things in life.
Let go of your need to hoard things and experiences. Resist your tendency to retreat. Realize that withdrawing makes you feel safe, but prevents you from feeling fulfillment.
Bravely stay open to experiencing the natural flow of whatever is happening in life without needing to contract or withhold in the face of either lack or abundance.
"If we fearfully cling to what we have, we will never be able to discover who we truly are." - Sri Chinmoy
Waking Up
For Type 5s, the key to embracing their true selves lies in gradually reducing their need to be in control of others' movements either toward or away from them. This may seem difficult, if not impossible, for them, because their ego tells them not to open the gates to their domain. But facing their Shadow and their pain means rising above their self-limiting definitions of the past and achieving a higher degree of self-knowledge and self-respect, as well as a wider vision of who they are. When this type realizes that they have actually been missing deeper and freer connections for much of their life, they can focus all their intention and attention on exchanging ideas, feelings, and sensations with others. It is only through fully engaging in the experience of connection that they can develop their true selves and understand the mysteries of being human, living life, and being part of the universe. When they take in this truth, they blossom and make themselves available to others with a profound spirit of generosity. And this brings them closer to their true selves. The Type 5 journey can be challenging, because many cultures value the intellect and promote ideals of individuality, self-sufficiency, and privacy. And when this type feels "in control" of their space and their agenda, they may not feel the need for the change that comes through growth. But the truth is that avarice the impulse to contract against life out of a sense of scarce inner resources shrinks the heart and makes life less interesting. Knowledge doesn't make up for the lost experience of living more fully. And moving through the world as a Type 5 zombie means living only half of a life if even this much. When 5s courageously examine themselves, face their shadows, and open up to the unknown, they wake up out of their unconscious ego-driven zombie state and gain true wisdom. This type has a deep craving for wisdom. This makes sense, given that their main survival strategy relies on knowing all there is to know. But this desire compels them to observe life from a distance and trade felt experience for a cognitive understanding of life. As they advance on their path, however, they discover what it means to develop real wisdom. When this happens, they open up to a more satisfying experience of knowing that comes through a deep engagement of the body, mind, heart, and spirit. When they allow for the lived experiences that make them truly wise and not just smart, they come to a realization of true humility. From this lived humility, they unveil more knowledge, but also know they know nothing. And this paves the way for them to align with the higher self that has been waiting for them all along.
Videos
## Dive Deeper
Letting Go of Self: The Creation of the Nonattachment to Self Scale.