You may be done with the day, but the day's not done with you. ~ Insomnia
As I lie awake a 2AM, I'm thinking about how our lives are impacted by the seemingly tiny decisions to delay or defer. We hesitate and a chain of events unfolds.
Times of action or inaction can have an impact nonetheless. When we fail to act out of fear or laziness, we suffer. When we act to hastily our of fear or impatience (a form of laziness) we suffer.
At this moment, I was debating getting up to walk to the nearest shower. Getting out of bed, finding a towel and bar of soap, a little discomfort would have allowed for far greater comfort (in this case getting to sleep). But for two hours I resisted. Out of frustration, I finally got up and went to take a shower. Shortly there after, I fell asleep like I always do. A warm shower is the remedy for insomnia.
I dread the places my mind wanders during bouts of insomnia. It's rarely a good place and it seems to be the time when my monkey mind kicks into high gear. When I'm at my weakest, exhausted but unable to sleep, the critic is at it's best.
Because of the damage the critic can leave behind, insomnia can be a bitch. But it's also the time I can sit up and meditate further.
Often what precedes sleep after meditation in the middle of the night is often a conscious cross over into the dream state. Slivers of dreams begin to meld with reality and a vivid half sleep/half awake state occurs.