"Happiness is not something that can be found, acquired or caused. It can only be uncovered, revealed and recognized." ~ Rupert Spira
I'm toying with a simpler definition for happiness. It stems from a dive into the philosophy of Yin & Yang.
If you are not happy 24/7, than redefine what happiness means. You can do this with pretty much anything: We inject the meaning into the words we use to define our experience in life. Wealth, Health, Success, and Happiness - they are all subjective.
Happiness is [ ].
It’s the pursuit of happiness is the precise reason that is happiness eludes us!
Stop asking the question; am I happy? The more you do , the less you will be. Instead ask:
What activities bring me joy?
If you are not doing them… then how can you restructure your life so you can?
Can you reframe activities you're doing now to inject more joy into them? What if you stopped looking for joy altogether and just got lost in the activity itself?
How can I engage with the world in a way that puts me in my ‘happy place?’
Am I creating circumstances that allow me to spend more time on the things that have more meaning to me?
What’s the objective?
How am I contributing?
Who can I help?
Once I stopped trying to be happy, I realized I already was.
I let go of trying to be something I wasn’t and discovered who I was was flawed to perfection.
The tired I always felt was from the weight of trying to be something I wasn't. Now I find more energy in life itself.
The goal is not to be happy, the goal is to discover contentment in every moment.
Just be who you are and try not to become less of who you’ve been. The more I try to fight who I am, the harder it is to be me.
Indeed, the degree of suffering is subjective and will be in the eye of the beholder. You may be suffering in some areas of your life, while thriving in other areas. In fact, it's pretty safe to say everyone is inflicted by this paradox.
Outward appearance can be deceiving. From the outside, everything is fine. But what actually exists can tell a different story.
The world in general is suffering to an extent (I sense suffering collectively is increasing). And if you believe we are all one and we are all connected, then to some extent, we are all suffering.
Impermanence explains how nothing is ever idle. We are either moving towards suffering or towards happiness.
If you accept that happiness is the absence of suffering, then the key to happiness is avoid suffering. At this moment, are you suffering? Is what you are doing moving you further from suffering or further from joy?
You're reading right now. Is reading cause suffering? If not, then I could argue reading brings you joy. Even if you are suffering some extent (maybe your back hurts, your a bit depressed, or can shake a funk), there's an aspect of this moment free from suffering. Focus on that.
What brings you joy is a moving target, but what brings you suffering is static. You can't hit a moving target, so there's no point focusing on what bring you joy because it's ever changing. Instead, notice the persistent source of suffering in your life and do whatever you can to avoid it.
Is your attention on avoiding the things that make you suffer or on the things that bring you joy. Where you attention goes is where your energy flows.
Let's apply this right now by making a list of all the things that cause suffering in YOUR life. Here's my list:
The next obvious thing might be to make a list of things that bring me joy, right?
But what if instead of placing conditions on our happiness, we were happy unconditionally?
My belief is that this is the secret to happiness. Our closest friends who are the definition of happiness have always been happy and are happy no matter where they are or what they are doing. It wasn't that it success came to them and then they became happy. It was that they were happy and as a result success came. Three of the happiest people who immediately spring to mind are Becky, Jessica & Pam.
Don't envy happiness (or success). If you resent others because they are happy and you are not, you are focusing on what others got. Focus on what you got.
Gratitude for what we have is the seed of happiness.
Every hour, jot down something you are grateful for.
Note: I started an Unschedule project.
We may find what makes us happy is not in alignment with reality. You might tell me Netflix makes you happy and sitting in front of the TV engaged in a good TV show does it. But too much time in front of the TV comes at a cost.
I met a 99 year old woman at a bingo fundrasier. She truly looked as vibrant as someone in their 60s or 70s. I asked her the secret was. She told me it was 'To always be trying new things.' Stay curious!
Doing new things is also a good technique to inject more happiness into your life.
Here are 10 new things you can try today:
Here are two more...
Attend a local event: Check out local listings for events happening in your area. It could be a live music performance, art exhibition, or a community gathering.
Try a new hobby: Experiment with a new hobby that interests you, like gardening, photography, writing, or crafting.
Note: One of the secrets to staying physically fit and vibrant is discovering exercise you enjoy. You can't discover what you enjoy if you're not giving different workouts a try. Give any new activity an extended trial. Initially, it may not be enjoyable because you aren't yet good at it. But over time, you'll develop muscle memory and have more confidence in your abilities. It's what I've found to be one of the keys to finding an activity you enjoy.
Remember, trying new things doesn't have to be grand or expensive; even small changes can bring a sense of novelty and joy to your life. Enjoy the process of exploring and discovering new experiences.
The study of happiness...
How do you define happy? Joy?
I find that happiness is fleeting. It often come unexpectedly, like when I'm on a particular roll in some research.
I do find that being around certain people tend to make me happy.
My happy is doing more of what I enjoy, and less of what I don't. It's being with people I love. It's being acknowledged for my work. It's finding peace.
I'm happiest when I'm:
"Social Status is a Treadmill"
Life satisfaction depends on circumstances right now minus the regret you feel of the cumulative sum of missed chances in your past.
Tap into the collective wisdom of quora
You can't think your way into happiness. But thinking itself, as an activity, can be a path happiness.
Thirty True Things You Need to Know Now - by Gordon Livingston
The book covers a wide range of ideas related to happiness, relationships, parenting, illness, anxiety, and more. Some of the overarching themes and main takeaways include:
Happiness comes from within, not from external circumstances. It's a choice and mindset. Key elements are having meaningful things to do, loving relationships, and hopes/dreams.
Behavior and actions define us more than thoughts or feelings. Judging others based on past behavior is more reliable than promises about the future.
Letting go of control, especially with children, leads to better family relationships and less anxiety. Kids will turn out well when raised with love/support regardless of specific parenting theories.
Blaming others prevents self-examination and healing. Taking responsibility for our reactions and attitudes is empowering. Forgiveness benefits oneself.
Illness can provide relief from responsibility, so some unconsciously cling to it. Healing requires active participation.
Anxiety is contagious and drains happiness. Cultivating optimism and focusing awareness on pleasure-inducing people/activities counteracts this.
The past is rewritten in our memories to fit stories we tell ourselves. Longing for paradises of the past distracts us from extracting joy now.
Laughter in the face of adversity is profoundly therapeutic. More life choices and risk tolerance enable happiness.
In summary, the keys to happiness include choice/mindset, responsibility, forgiveness, optimism, laughter, letting go of control, and living presently.