Future Self
Out of the blue, I received a complimentary review copy (kindle) from Ben Hardy of this title. Here are my thoughts and observations and ultimately I will post a review on Amazon.
Fear or Reward?
The first idea that is presented that drew me in was this idea that 80% of us are apparently more motivated by fear & avoidance than by reward.
If this were true, you either need to learn how to become the 20% that are motivated by reward (drawn forward) or reframe your goals so they are triggers for fear and avoidance.
Hardy continues:
"We have a lot of things working against us when it comes to living effectively. Shifting our goals from fear-based, reactive, and short term to proactive, long term, and love-based is the path to a successful and happy life. Your view of your Future Self is the compass that draws you forward. This takes us to the growing body of research on the subjects of prospection, identity, and Future Self. TED Talks by prominent psychologists are aimed at the critical importance of one’s connection to and creation of their own Future Self."
So the next area to wrap your head around is how you can turn the present into the past and the future into the present.
Is it a matter of shifting your POV? Perhaps it's a matter of moving away from our fixed mindset:
“In a fixed mindset, people believe their basic qualities, like their intelligence or talent, are simply fixed traits. They spend their time documenting their intelligence or talent instead of developing them. They also believe that talent alone creates success—without effort.” (Dweck, 2015)
“In a growth mindset, people believe that their most basic abilities can be developed through dedication and hard work—brains and talent are just the starting point. This view creates a love of learning and a resilience that is essential for great accomplishment.” (Dweck, 2015)
Motivation stems from a clear outcome you truly desire with a belief that you can succeed. It's up to you to discover a path to get there.
What this leads me to believe is that many of us don't have a clear image of our future self.
Having a growth mindset requires that we accept our own limitations. That we accept others are superior to us. And we don't like to feel inferior... so cutting others down (cancelling is the extreme) gives us a sense of superiority.
Shifting into a growth mindset requires that I embrace the incomplete. That I no longer see unfinished as bad. To not finish what I started because I am leaving the door open to something even better?
Engage in ways to see effort as progress and setbacks as steps forward. Committing myself to my best self - the future self - the fulfillment of a future I've imagined, yet staying open to what that is and how it shows up. It's about having a growth future mind rather than fixating on one image of it. Let's be honest - the future is more uncertain than ever before. So if you are anchored to this idea of how the world (and others in it) are going to show up, you're creating a lot of unnecessary angst.
Using the clarity of how I want to show up for myself and others, I am driven to make wiser choices and be more accepting and less self-deprecating of myself and others. With every facet and fiber of my being, I choose from the POV of my future self.
When the present becomes the past and the future becomes the present, we move through the world more confidently. If the future is now, we become who we imagine ourselves to be. We literally are being the person we want to be. We are pulled into the future and the past is gone. The past is no reflection of who we are, only what we've done.
Confidence comes from an agreement with your future self that sees your current self authentically without fear. To be living fearlessly free is freedom from the tyranny of being anchored to your past. You live ff into the future self! You literally lean into the best version of yourself. Your best is yet to come.
Be advised that you will fall into a groove, and that groove can begin to feel like a rut!
Routine is healthy, but shake up your routine to avoid becoming inflexible.
It’s the idea of the Merlin principle, isn’t it?
The closer your connection to your future self, the greater your life will be.
It’s about living in the present with the intention that you are becoming the ideal version of yourself.
But if You don’t have an ideal vision of yourself there’s no vision to live in to!
So let’s get clear on that vision of yourself!
Future Brian is kind, calm, confident, gentle, and happy! He’s got the self control and self discipline to live to a potential that is evergreen!
Easeful patient and kind.
Merlin makes good choices.
A future self pov:
Wow, your future self is looking back on your current self with awe. Your life is amazing! He wishes you could see it from his POV!
And then Brian began to see his life in the present as clearly as his future self did… knowing someday very soon that all of it would be gone.
Ask before you make the decision to act, is this what my future self would want me to do now?
Your Future Self by Hal Herschfield
Key Takeaways
- Humans often act in ways that make life difficult for their future selves, like overeating or undersaving. This suggests we don't always make decisions with our future interests in mind.
- Philosophers suggest we are not a single self but rather a collection of multiple distinct selves over time. We often feel less connected to our future selves.
- Psychological research shows people tend to view their future selves as different people. Brain scans confirm this - thoughts about the future self show brain patterns like thoughts about other people.
- The less connected people feel to their future selves, the more likely they are to make short-sighted decisions that disadvantage their future selves.
- Vividly imagining the future self, like seeing aged-progressed photos, increases people's connection to their future selves. This leads to more future-oriented financial decisions.
- We should find ways to strengthen the connection between our current and future selves. This could involve vividly imagining our future selves or writing letters to our future selves. Doing so can help us make wiser long-term decisions.
- The relationships we have with our future selves play a crucial role in the decisions we make.
- Stronger connections to our distant selves are linked to positive outcomes.
- These improved outcomes can be found in a variety of areas, like enhanced financial well-being, a greater likelihood to exercise, better grades, and better psychological well-being.
- Strengthening your connection to your future self can boost your willingness to take more actions on your future self's behalf.
How we get tripped up
Chap 4
- Our first time-traveling mistake is that we get overly focused on the present, failing to consider the future. There are at least three reasons for this tendency.
- First, the present is simply more certain than the future, and we'd rather take a sure bet now than a risky one later.
- Second, our present-day emotions seem more powerful than the ones we expect our future selves to feel.
- Third, time feels as if it lasts longer in the present, making it more difficult to exhibit patience.
- We may fail to see the ways in which our present selves add up to and become our future selves.
Chap 5
- The second time-traveling mistake is that we think ahead to the future, but only in a surface-level way.
- Procrastination is a classic example of this mistake; in not considering the future in a particularly deep way, we fail to recognize just how much our future selves will want to avoid the same negative situations we're escaping today.
- The Yes/Damn effect presents another example: we may say yes to a future commitment but not anticipate just how much our future selves will regret it.
Chap 6
- Our final time-traveling mistake; we fail to recognize the ways in which the future may be different from the present.
- Projection bias is one example of this mistake: we take our present-day emotions and over-project them onto our future selves.
- The end-of-history illusion is another example: we think that our current personalities and preferences won't change that much in the years ahead.
- As a result of both projection bias and the end-of-history illusion, we may make decisions we'll later regret, from what we eat to the careers we pursue.
Chap 7
- To bridge the gap between present and future selves, you can "make the future closer."
- You can do this by visualizing the future self with age-progressed images or by writing letters to and from your future self.
- But context matters. Simply seeing your aged self or writing letters to or from them may not be enough to change behavior. Instead, pair these "vividness" exercises with situations where you can make an immediate choice like an online investment platform).
- Other methods might work as well; travel backward from the future to the present or think about the time that lies ahead in terms of days rather than years.
Chap 8
- To better ensure that you arrive at the future you want, consider "commitment device" strategies that make it harder to fall prey to temptation.
- The weakest form is known as a "psychological commit-ment": make a plan to commit to a course of action. Try to recruit an accountability partner-someone who can make sure that you do the thing you said you were going to do.
- Stronger yet are commitment devices where tempting options are removed from your environment (for exam-ple, check out the KSafe).
- More extreme still are commitment devices where punishments are enacted if you veer off track. If possible, make the punishments automatic so that you leave no room for negotiations with yourself.
Chap 9
- Tension exists when Current You has to sacrifice for the benefit of Future You. But you can improve future outcomes by making those present-day sacrifices easier to undertake.
- One category of strategies is to "take the good with the bad": Experiencing positive emotions in the face of negative events may provide a buffer of sorts, allowing better insight into stressors big and small. "Temptation bundling," where you pair tempting positive activities with the things that feel like sacrifices, can be effective. And "tangential immersion," where you pair the boring task with something that's slightly more interesting, can help you stay on track.
- You can also "make the big small" and break sacrifices down into smaller, easier-to-accomplish pieces.
- We must also find ways to celebrate the present. Recognize that if we live only for tomorrow, we may arrive at a future that's devoid of the memories and experiences that make life worth living.