Eulogy

Writing a eulogy for yourself is a deeply personal exercise, and it’s inspiring that you’re taking the time to reflect on your values and what really matters to you. It weaves together who you've been and the impact you've made, the relationships you value, and the passions that define your life.

Use this prompt:

I want your help by interviewing my to write my eulogy. I've been given a terminal diagnosis, and this is how I want to be remembered. Consider questions that reflect on which life experiences have stuck with me - What am I most proud of? - How have I made a positive impact on others? - My highest priorities (VALUES)? - What gives life meaning? It’s not as much about my accomplishments. It’s about the intangibles… The deeper meaning of my life.

Question 1

Could you tell me about a moment in your life when you felt most alive and true to yourself? This could be a quiet personal moment or a significant event - but a time when you felt you were living exactly as you were meant to live.

The questions that follow are tailored to the responses provided.

I'll admit for me, I got off on some tangents and the results 'went off the rails' in rev 4. I think rev 2 or 3 is best.

Rev 4

We gather today to celebrate a life lived with deep philosophical purpose – a life guided by what he called the "Triangle of Contentment." At its peak was the pursuit of self-actualization, balanced by two profound truths: that our timeline is defined before birth, like an ant's journey across a room when viewed from above, and that there is perfection in every moment, each step exactly where it was meant to be.

This philosophy illuminated his journey as a loving husband whose marriage flourished through decades of adventures and new beginnings, supported by a wife who stood steadfast through each bold move – from San Luis Obispo to Austin, Austin to Manteca, Manteca to San Jose, San Jose to Fort Collins, and finally to their dream destination of Morro Bay. Each transition wasn't just a change of location but an affirmation of his belief in the perfection of the moment, trust in a predetermined path unfolding exactly as it should.

He was shaped by the loving sacrifice of his parents, who raised four successful boys with unwavering dedication and support. Their investment in their children's futures bore fruit in countless ways, creating a legacy of achievement, integrity, and family bonds that would span generations – all part of a grand design he came to recognize and honor.

His life was marked by chapters in places that captured his heart – thirteen transformative years in Fort Collins and more than eleven years realizing a lifelong dream in Morro Bay. These weren't just coincidences but coordinates on a predetermined path, each move representing not just a change of address, but another step toward self-actualization.

The publication of "50 Interviews" in 2009 marked a pivotal moment, opening doors to an entirely new career path. This project, born from his willingness to question everything he thought he knew, ultimately enabled the realization of that long-held dream of living on California's Central Coast. Looking back, he understood this wasn't just good fortune but part of his destined timeline, visible all along to anyone who could view the journey from above.

His path took him from Silicon Valley to entrepreneurship, from college days in San Luis Obispo to building multiple lives in multiple communities. In his 20's & 30's, he competed in countless triathlons, culminating in an Ironman distance which would ultimatly bring that chapter of his life to a close. Later in life, he discoverd Yoga and mediation - when combined with his love of the ukulele, formulated a trifecta of wellness. He built a successful business from scratch, and took on leadership roles within his community of writers & publishers. Yet through his triangle of contentment, he understood that these achievements weren't random accomplishments but necessary steps in his predetermined journey toward self-actualization.

Integrity was his north star, perfectly aligned with his belief in life's grand design. When faced with pressure to compromise his values at IBM, he chose truth over convenience, recognizing this moment too was part of his destined path. His fierce independence was balanced by an unwavering loyalty to those he loved, showing up fully in intimate gatherings rather than seeking the spotlight of larger stages.

He found joy in quality time with family & friends – beginning with boy scout trips with his dad, to many weekends of traithlons, to attending ukulele festivals with his mom, or celebrating his 50th birthday in the Grand Canyon with his family, to epic vacations with close friends in Colorado & the Pacific Northwest. These moments weren't just memories but perfect points along his predetermined timeline, each one teaching him something new about love, connection, and meaning.

His greatest legacy might be the wisdom he discovered and shared through his triangle of contentment: that true peace comes not just from within, but from accepting the perfect design of our lives. While many struggle against their path or search externally for fulfillment, he found peace in recognizing that each moment – challenging or joyful – was exactly as it should be.

He approached life as a laboratory, treating both success and failure as valuable data points on a journey whose ultimate destination was already written. This perspective showed us that self-confidence comes not from controlling our path, but from trusting in its perfect unfolding while continually striving toward self-actualization.

He leaves us with this profound truth: we are the manifestation of everything we experience, and everything we experience is part of a grand design. The peace, love, and joy that we seek has always been within. His life stands as testament to the power of trusting in life's perfect unfolding while maintaining the courage to fully embrace each moment of the journey.

In remembering him, may we be inspired to view our own lives with similar trust and wisdom – knowing that like the ant crossing the room, our path is already written, yet each step toward self-actualization is precious and perfect in its own right.

Rev 3

We gather today to celebrate a life lived as a courageous experiment in truth, growth, and discovery. A loving husband whose marriage flourished through decades of adventures and new beginnings, supported by a wife who stood steadfast through each bold move – from San Luis Obispo to Austin, Austin to Manteca, Manteca to San Jose, San Jose to Fort Collins, and finally to their dream destination of Morro Bay. Their journey together began with a leap of faith at Montecito Sequoia, evolving into a partnership that demonstrated how letting go of rigid expectations creates space for life's most precious gifts.

He was shaped by the loving sacrifice of his parents, who raised four successful boys with unwavering dedication and support. Their investment in their children's futures bore fruit in countless ways, creating a legacy of achievement, integrity, and family bonds that will span generations.

His life was marked by chapters in places that captured his heart – 13 amazing years in Fort Collins starting in 1999 and now more than 11 years realizing a lifelong dream in Morro Bay. Each move represented not just a change of address, but a new experiment in living fully and authentically.

The publication of "50 Interviews" in 2009 marked a pivotal moment, opening doors to an entirely new career path. This project, born from his wifes advice to question everything he thought he knew about entrepreneurship, ultimately enabled the realization of that long-held dream of living on California's Central Coast. It was yet another testament to his belief that "Fortune favors the brave" – not because every venture succeeds, but because every experience, whether triumph or setback, offers precious data for living.

His journey took him from Silicon Valley to entrepreneurship, from college days in San Luis Obispo to building multiple lives in multiple communities. He completed an Ironman triathlon, built a successful business from scratch, and organized writers' conferences that touched countless lives. Yet he would be the first to tell you that the real achievement wasn't in reaching these goals, but in who he became along the way.

Integrity was his north star. When faced with pressure to compromise his values at IBM, he chose truth over convenience, demonstrating that real success isn't about climbing corporate ladders but about staying true to oneself. His fierce independence was balanced by an unwavering loyalty to those he loved, showing up fully in intimate gatherings rather than seeking the spotlight of larger stages.

He found joy in life's quieter moments too – playing ukulele with his mom in Port Townsend, celebrating his 50th birthday with family among the red rocks of Sedona, sharing precious time with close friends in Astoria. These moments weren't just memories; they were data points in his grand experiment of living, each one teaching him something new about love, connection, and meaning.

Perhaps his greatest legacy is the wisdom he discovered and shared: that true peace, love, and joy aren't found in external achievements but within ourselves. While many search "out there" for fulfillment, he came to understand that what we seek has always been "in here." He approached life as a laboratory, treating both success and failure as valuable information, showing us that self-confidence comes not from never failing, but from knowing that every experiment in living brings us closer to our truest selves.

He leaves us with this profound truth: we are the manifestation of everything we experience. His life stands as testament to the power of treating each day as an experiment in courage, each challenge as an opportunity for growth, and each moment as a chance to choose integrity over convenience. In remembering him, may we be inspired to approach our own lives with similar curiosity, courage, and authenticity – knowing that our greatest discoveries often lie just beyond our comfort zones, and our deepest peace can always be found within.

Rev 2

We gather today to celebrate a life lived as a courageous experiment in truth, growth, and discovery. A loving husband of nearly 30 years, whose marriage began with a leap of faith at Montecito Sequoia, and flourished through the wisdom of letting go of rigid expectations. A man who understood that the greatest adventures often begin when we dare to step into the unknown.

His journey took him from taking an internship in the Silicon Valley led him to a rewarding corporate career that gave he and his wife the opportunity to move to Fort Collins, CO where they purchased their first home. Following the great recession in 2008, Brian started his own business, 50 Interviews. It started a path of self-discovery where he learned how each hardships we overcome shapes us into a better version of ourselves.

A lifelong dream both Debi & Brian shared was to return to the central coast. In 2013, the dream was realized when they moved to Morro Bay.

Along the way, he discovered that Fortune truly does favor the brave – not because every venture succeeds, but because every experience, whether triumph or setback, offers precious data for living. He completed an Ironman triathlon, built a successful business from scratch, and took on leadership roles in the writers' communities he shared, and touched many lives. Yet he would be the first to tell you that the real achievement wasn't in reaching these goals, but in who he became along the way.

Integrity was his north star. When faced with pressure to compromise his values at IBM, he chose truth over convenience, demonstrating that real success isn't about climbing corporate ladders but about staying true to oneself. His fierce independence was balanced by an unwavering loyalty to those he loved, showing up fully in intimate gatherings rather than seeking the spotlight of larger stages.

He found joy in life's quieter moments too – playing ukulele with his mom in Port Townsend, celebrating his 50th birthday with family among the red rocks of the Grand Canyon, sharing precious time with close friends in Astoria. These moments weren't just memories; they were data points in his grand experiment of living, each one teaching him something new about love, connection, and meaning.

Perhaps his greatest legacy is the wisdom he discovered and shared: that true peace, love, and joy aren't found in external achievements but within ourselves. While many search "out there" for fulfillment, he came to understand that what we seek has always been "in here." He approached life as a laboratory, treating both success and failure as valuable information, showing us that self-confidence comes not from never failing, but from knowing that every experiment in living brings us closer to our truest selves.

He leaves us with this profound truth: we are the manifestation of what we experience. His life stands as testament to the power of treating each day as an experiment in courage, each challenge as an opportunity for growth, and each moment as a chance to choose integrity over convenience. In remembering him, may we be inspired to approach our own lives with similar curiosity, courage, and authenticity – knowing that our greatest discoveries often lie just beyond our comfort zones, and our deepest peace can always be found within.

Add in more specifics about events that shaped me: Publishing '50 Interviews' back in 2009 led me into an entirely new career path - one that ultimatley allowed us to realize a life long dream of living on the central coast of califorinia (we moved to Morro Bay in 2013).

Adjustments on timeline...

One of the themes in our life is that we've lived in two amazing places: 13 years in Fort Collins and 11+ years in Morro Bay.

Need to mention more about my family! My parents who sacraficed so much to raise 4 succesful boys. A wife who stood by me and supported me move and move after move: From San Luis Obispo to Austin. From Austin to Manteca. From Manteca to San Jose. From San Jose to Fort Collins. From Fort Collins to Morro Bay.

Rev 1

Today, we honor the life of Brian, a remarkable individual whose presence touched many lives. Brian lived with a quiet intensity and intellectual curiosity that inspired everyone around him. He was deeply introspective, an investigator in the truest sense, endlessly exploring the depths of knowledge and the mysteries of existence. For Brian, understanding the world was a calling, and he brought that passion to every conversation and endeavor.

Brian was more than just a thinker—he was a doer, too. He pursued his passions with focus and discipline, whether in his work as a publishing consultant, his role as a teacher, or in personal pursuits like music, triathlons, and meditation. His life was filled with learning, and he was constantly gathering wisdom, not for its own sake, but because he believed in using it to improve his life and the lives of others.

In his quiet way, Brian was fiercely independent, preferring to stand on his own, to trust in his own abilities. Yet, despite his self-sufficiency, he always made space for meaningful relationships. He was a devoted son, brother, friend, and mentor, and he valued these connections deeply. He may have had a tendency to retreat into his own world, but he never failed to show up fully for the people who mattered to him.

As a teacher, he shared his wealth of knowledge generously, encouraging others to ask questions and seek answers of their own. As a creative, he followed his curiosity and joy, sharing his love for music and books with enthusiasm. In the work he did in publishing, he was a thoughtful guide and a steadfast support to authors and experts, always seeing the value in their voices and stories.

Though Brian valued accomplishments, he understood that life is about more than achievements. He was a seeker of meaning, of purpose, and of personal truth. His life was a journey inward as much as outward, a delicate balance between the solitude he needed to recharge and the connections that grounded him.

Brian’s legacy reminds us that a rich life is one filled not only with experiences but with depth, curiosity, and love. May we all carry forward his wisdom, his kindness, and his unwavering commitment to growth and self-discovery. Brian, you leave behind a lasting imprint, and your spirit of inquiry and generosity will live on in each of us.

The Prompt

If you were given a terminal diagnosis, how would you want to be remembered?

It’s not about your accomplishments. It’s about the intangibles… The deeper meaning of your life. It’s a bigger idea of putting a mirror that you recently had in uplifting on. It’s the common threads in your life. Music. Writing. Loving. Family. Friends. How you see and move through the world…


What led to the most meaningful moments in my life?

A recent trip to Sedona & the Grand Canyon with my family to celebrate my 50th birthday. It was a cherished time with my family that stands out. Going further back, after high school and moving to San Luis Obispo to attend College. My internship at AMD in the silicon valley. Moving to Austin, TX for my first job out of college. Getting engaged on Lake Travis. My first trip to Hong Kong for work. Moving to Fort Collins and buying our first hom by age 30. Completing an Ironman triathlon. Starting my own business in 2009 and leaving a steady paycheck for the first time. One of my favorite vacations was in Astoria, Oregon with our close friends Becky & Craig (who we sadly really don't connect with anymore). Putting on the local writers conference was a big stretch for me, but rewarding in the end. The silent retreat I attended in Montecito made an impact. Attending ukulele retreats with my mom - especially the one up in Port Townsend, Washington. I remember Ride the Rockies in Colorado I did with my Dad - it was hard but rewarding. The Ironman I did in Provo Utah will always stick out because someone drowned... and then to complete a full ironman a few months later. I also recall RAGBRAI (bike ride across Iowa) as a highlight.

Going to Montecito Sequoia when I was in college... to a place I'd never been to take a job I had never done. Led me to meeting my wife of nearly 30 years.

When you think about all these experiences, particularly starting your own business and organizing the writers conference - what motivated you to take those leaps? Not just the practical reasons, but what deeper values or beliefs about life pushed you to stretch beyond the comfortable and known?


This brings me to my next question: In your nearly 30-year marriage and in your other close relationships, what do you think people have valued most about you? Not what you've done for them necessarily, but what qualities in you have drawn people close and kept them there? What parts of your character have made the deepest impact on others?

I am loyal (almost to a fault) and integrity has always been one of my highest values. I always tell the truth (sometimes to my own determent). I can be fiercely independent - and sometimes that causes me to hold things closer and not share. I definitely prefer small intimate groups as large gatherings are draining (I'm an enneagram type 5). I tend to put the needs of others before my own... and in a way, that's a safer place to be because by not putting myself out there, I can't fail.

When you think about this core value of integrity and truth-telling - can you tell me about a time when staying true to this value was particularly difficult, but you look back now and feel proud that you held firm? What did that moment teach you about yourself or about life?

It was probably when I made the decision to leave IBM. My boss basically told me to lie: "You tell me what I want to hear so I can tell my boss what he wants to hear. It doesn't matter if it's true."

That moment at IBM really encapsulates something powerful about who you are. Refusing to compromise your integrity even when pressured by authority, even when it would have been easier to just go along - that's a defining moment that shows your core values in action. It's one thing to claim integrity as a value; it's another to stand by it when it costs you something.

This leads me to a question about legacy and teaching: When you think about the values and wisdom you want to pass on to others - whether family, friends, or colleagues - what life lessons or truths do you most want them to understand? What have you learned about living well that you hope will continue to influence others even after you're gone?

(I sense there might be more to the IBM story and its aftermath that shaped you - if you'd prefer to explore that further, please feel free to take us in that direction instead.)

It's probably about taking a leap of faith and believing in yourself, despite the uncertainty the follows. It's knowing that we are the source of our self-confidence. It's not about the goals we achieve, but who become in the process. The reward is the work itself. It's about letting go of expectations... as expectations are an appointment with disappointment. I often joke that one of the keys to a successful marriage is to lower your expectations (and my wife concurs). It's also largely due to be willing to put aside everything I think I know and opening myself to the unknown. I recall how my decision to take a self-improvement course via Landmark Education was a really turning point for me. It led to the 50 Interviews book which ultimately pushed me to start my own business.

What a profound collection of wisdom - there's something particularly striking about reframing expectations not just as potential disappointments, but seeing how letting go of them creates space for genuine growth and connection. And I love that insight about marriage - there's deep wisdom (and humor) in recognizing how releasing rigid expectations can actually strengthen bonds.

The thread about self-discovery and transformation really stands out - from Landmark Education to the 50 Interviews project to starting your business. It seems like you've learned that real growth often comes from being willing to question what we think we know.

Let me ask you this: When you think about being "the source of our self-confidence" and "who we become in the process," what do you hope people will say about who you became? Not what you achieved, but who you were in the moments that mattered - both the big transformative ones and the quiet, everyday ones. What qualities or ways of being do you hope touched and influenced others?

I often come back to the mantra 'Fortune Favors the Brave' and think we celebrate those who take the leap - fail or not - it's the boldness that I admire most in others. As such, it's self-confidence in action... and I probably admire it most because I feel I lack it the most. And yes, to answer your question about 50 interviews and landmark - I learned the most about myself being self-employed for over 15 years.

Your reflection about admiring boldness precisely because you feel you lack it is deeply honest and insightful. Yet, looking at your life story - starting your own business, organizing conferences, completing an Ironman, taking leaps into new cities and opportunities - it seems you've actually embodied "Fortune Favors the Brave" more than you might recognize. There's a beautiful irony there - sometimes we most powerfully demonstrate the very qualities we think we lack. This brings me to what I think might be the most important question: When you look back at those 15 years of self-employment and all the other chapters of your life, what do you think has been your unique gift to the world? Not necessarily what you set out to do, but what impact do you think you've actually had on others - maybe in ways you didn't even intend or fully realize at the time? (I'm also curious about what specific lessons those 15 years of self-employment taught you about yourself, if you'd prefer to explore that instead.)

I do feel strongly that self-discovery through self-employment is something.


It seems that the common thread to all of these impactful moments was the discomfort that I had to overcome to experience them. When did I stop taking risks and living life on repeat?

But how and where did I make the greatest impact on others? After all, once we are gone, what is left but our memory?

We remember those who gave the most. We forget those who took the most.

Mind the Gap: The gap between life & death.


Notebook LM Generated Eulogy

(note: I uploaded 10 years of notes - mostly my 'work log' ... over 550,000 words)

A Eulogy for Brian, the Author of the Sources

Brian was a driven, entrepreneurial individual deeply immersed in the world of publishing and self-improvement. He is a champion for authors, particularly those choosing the self-publishing path. Brian possesses a unique blend of creative and technical expertise, enabling him to navigate the ever-evolving landscape of digital marketing and content creation.

The information provided portrays a dedicated professional, a lifelong learner, and a compassionate individual who leaves behind a legacy of empowering authors and embracing the ever-changing world of digital content creation.

These topics suggest that Brian's spiritual journey involves a combination of contemplative practices, philosophical exploration, and an appreciation for the beauty and interconnectedness of life.

He seems to be seeking a deeper understanding of himself and his place in the world, drawing on various sources of wisdom and inspiration.