Emotional reactions are coded in our genes and while they do vary slightly individually and depending on circumstances, are generally universally similar across all humans and even other species. For example, you smile and your dog wags its tail.
Feelings are the experience we have triggered by a specific emotion. Where emotions are objective, feelings are subjective. Fear is a emotion, but how we respond to that trigger of fear is based personal experience, beliefs, and memories.
Emotions cause our responses to be based on random choice or personal whim, rather than any reason or system.
While basic emotions are instinctual and common to us all, the meanings they take on and the feelings they prompt are individual based on our programming past and present. Feelings are shaped by a person’s temperament and experiences and vary greatly from person to person and situation to situation.
The feelings triggered by particular emotions are based on prior experience. The feelings that arise are triggered by the meanings we created in prior events.
CTA: Ask yourself: are the feelings helping or hurting the program you are currently running? What triggered the emotion to begin with?
People don't care how you feel, they care how they feel. They might have empathy for how you feel, but it's not the same as having the feeling.
As best we might try, we can't control how others feel.
It's time to step up and be the rock star you are.
Children are naturally curious. They wave and start conversations with total strangers because there hasn't been an experience yet that would give them reason to fear engaging with a stranger. But as the experiences grow, this changes.
Here's an example.
My wife and I had insomnia, so we decided to venture out at 3AM to try and see the blue waves that others reported could be seen late at night. On the way, an old RV was blocking half the road. As we slowed down, a man started to approach our vehicle. My wife's immediate reaction one was of danger. Mind you this was 3AM and were were out in the middle of nowhere. Not another soul in sight. She pleaded for me to keep driving. As we did, the man yelled 'Thanks asshole.' His reaction only validated my wife's fear that something wasn't right. His reaction only caused her to become more alarmed. She later called the police to have them go check it out. She later asked me "If I had not been with you, would you have stopped to help him?" And as I thought about it, my answer is probably yes - I am of opinion that people are good, not evil. That he needed some help in someway which is why he flagged us down. But mind you this was 3AM, and nobody else was around.
It occurred to me that we ad lib quite a bit to fuel our emotions. She created a story that he could have held us a gun point, taken us hostage, and nobody would have ever known. I would have likely stepped in to assist until he had given me reason to prove otherwise. But by then, it could have been too late. He could have pulled a gun, he taken me at knife point. Or he could have just needing a jump start.
Prior events, often unrelated, have a tendency to influence decision making. This is because strong emotions, like anger tend to linger. The anger may be from a completely unrelated event, but our brains are locked into the wrong channel to decide objectively.
Angry feelings can linger for years. As a personal example, I was working in a dysfunctional, toxic corporate environment in 2008. For years, the decisions I made that led me to a life of being self-employed, self-sufficient, and less dependent on others stemmed from that anger.
Keep in mind that because you have now way of knowing what someone else has gone through in their life, you'll likely never understand why something sets them off. For example, I resent people who thrive in corporations due to feelings of anger that resulted in what I perceived as unfairness in corporations.
Are all corporations unfair? No. So why do you harbor discontent for all of them? I was stuck in a lane.
Our feelings can offer relevant and important feedback about a decision, but irrelevant emotions triggered by a completely unrelated event can take us off track. The next time you drink a bitter cup of coffee or have an argument with a loved one, pause to consider how your emotional reactions could linger as you enter into important task or weigh a complex decision. Fortunately, we often can choose when to perform each of the many tasks required of us. This should allow us to evaluate ideas and advice from others when we believe we are most capable of doing so objectively and thoroughly. ~ Source
There are 68 emotions according to wikipedia. Before you make a decision, consider which emotions are lingering from unrelated events.
I was in a funk due to sense of FOMO
In Wireframed, I will attempt to recognize which potential emotions make be an indication an integration of the module is needed.