Emotional reactions are coded in our genes and while they do vary slightly individually and depending on circumstances, are generally universally similar across all humans and even other species. For example, you smile and your dog wags its tail.
Feelings are the experience we have triggered by a specific emotion. Where emotions are objective, feelings are subjective. Fear is a emotion, but how we respond to that trigger of fear is based personal experience, beliefs, and memories.
Emotions cause our responses to be based on random choice or personal whim, rather than any reason or system.
While basic emotions are instinctual and common to us all, the meanings they take on and the feelings they prompt are individual based on our programming past and present. Feelings are shaped by a person’s temperament and experiences and vary greatly from person to person and situation to situation.
The feelings triggered by particular emotions are based on prior experience. The feelings that arise are triggered by the meanings we created in prior events.
CTA: Ask yourself: are the feelings helping or hurting the program you are currently running? What triggered the emotion to begin with?
People don't care how you feel, they care how they feel. They might have empathy for how you feel, but it's not the same as having the feeling.
As best we might try, we can't control how others feel.
It's time to step up and be the rock star you are.
Children are naturally curious. They wave and start conversations with total strangers because there hasn't been an experience yet that would give them reason to fear engaging with a stranger. But as the experiences grow, this changes.
Here's an example.
My wife and I had insomnia, so we decided to venture out at 3AM to try and see the blue waves that others reported could be seen late at night. On the way, an old RV was blocking half the road. As we slowed down, a man started to approach our vehicle. My wife's immediate reaction one was of danger. Mind you this was 3AM and this was out in the middle of nowhere. Not another soul in sight. She pleaded for me to keep driving. As we did, the man yelled 'Thanks asshole.' His reaction only validated my wife's fear that something wasn't right. His reaction only caused her to become more alarmed. She later called the police to have them go check it out. She later asked me "If I had not been with you, would you have stopped to help him?" And as I thought about it, my answer is probably yes - I am of opinion that people are good, not evil. That he needed some help in someway which is why he flagged us down. But mind you this was 3AM, and nobody else was around.
It occurred to me that we ad lib quite a bit to fuel our emotions. She created a story that he could have held us a gun point, taken us hostage, and nobody would have ever known. I would have likely stepped in to assist until he had given me reason to prove otherwise. But by then, it could have been too late. He could have pulled a gun, he taken me at knife point. Or he could have just needing a jump start.
Decisions
Prior events, often unrelated, have a tendency to influence decision making. This is because strong emotions, like anger tend to linger. The anger may be from a completely unrelated event, but our brains are locked into the wrong channel to decide objectively.
Angry feelings can linger for years. As a personal example, I was working in a dysfunctional, toxic corporate environment in 2008. For years, the decisions I made that led me to a life of being self-employed, self-sufficient, and less dependent on others stemmed from that anger.
Keep in mind that because you have now way of knowing what someone else has gone through in their life, you'll likely never understand why something sets them off. For example, I resent people who thrive in corporations due to feelings of anger that resulted in what I perceived as unfairness in corporations.
Are all corporations unfair? No. So why do you harbor discontent for all of them? I was stuck in a lane.
Our feelings can offer relevant and important feedback about a decision, but irrelevant emotions triggered by a completely unrelated event can take us off track. The next time you drink a bitter cup of coffee or have an argument with a loved one, pause to consider how your emotional reactions could linger as you enter into important task or weigh a complex decision. Fortunately, we often can choose when to perform each of the many tasks required of us. This should allow us to evaluate ideas and advice from others when we believe we are most capable of doing so objectively and thoroughly. ~ Source
There are 68 emotions according to wikipedia. Before you make a decision, consider which emotions are lingering from unrelated events.
Personal story
I was in a funk due to sense of FOMO
In Wireframed, I will attempt to recognize which potential emotions make be an indication an integration of the module is needed.
Below are strategies to address each of the survival emotions listed, drawing from various therapeutic approaches and self-help techniques.
Insecurity
Underlying Feelings: Fear of inadequacy, lack of self-confidence.
Attitudes: A tendency to doubt oneself and seek validation from others.
Strategies
Practice Self-Care: Prioritize your physical and emotional well-being through exercise, nutrition, and rest.
Gratitude Journaling: Write down things you appreciate about yourself to combat negative thoughts.
Open Communication: Share your feelings with trusted friends or family to build trust and understanding in relationships.
Hatred
Self-Reflection: Explore the roots of your hatred; often, it stems from unresolved pain or fear.
Empathy Development: Try to understand the perspective of those you feel hate towards, fostering compassion instead.
Therapy: Consider professional help to work through deep-seated emotions and learn healthier coping mechanisms.
Judgment
Challenge Negative Thoughts: Recognize when you are judging others and reflect on why. Shift focus to understanding rather than criticizing.
Practice Mindfulness: Engage in mindfulness exercises to become aware of your thoughts without judgment.
Cultivate Self-Acceptance: Work on accepting your own flaws, which can reduce the tendency to judge others.
Victimization
Empowerment Techniques: Focus on what you can control in your life. Set small, achievable goals to regain a sense of agency.
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT): Use CBT techniques to reframe negative thoughts and beliefs about yourself as a victim.
Support Groups: Join groups where you can share experiences and hear from others who have overcome similar feelings.
Worry
Mindfulness Practices: Engage in mindfulness or meditation to stay present and reduce anxiety about future events.
Limit Information Intake: Reduce exposure to news or social media that triggers excessive worry.
Problem-Solving Skills: Identify specific worries and develop actionable plans to address them.
Guilt
Forgiveness Exercises: Practice self-forgiveness by acknowledging mistakes and understanding that everyone makes them.
Amends: If possible, make amends with those affected by your actions, which can alleviate feelings of guilt.
Therapeutic Writing: Write letters expressing your feelings of guilt, even if you don’t send them.
Depression
Regular Physical Activity: Exercise has been shown to improve mood and reduce symptoms of depression.
Social Support: Reach out to friends or family for support; isolation can worsen depressive feelings.
Professional Help: Seek therapy or counseling for structured support and coping strategies.
Shame
Vulnerability Sharing: Share your feelings of shame with trusted individuals; vulnerability can reduce shame's power.
Self-Compassion Practices: Treat yourself with kindness instead of harsh criticism when feeling shameful.
Therapy: Engage in therapy focused on shame resilience, such as Brené Brown's work on vulnerability.
Anxiety
Breathing Exercises: Practice deep breathing techniques to calm anxiety symptoms in the moment.
Gradual Exposure: Gradually face anxiety-inducing situations in a controlled manner to build confidence over time.
Mindfulness Meditation: Incorporate mindfulness meditation into your routine to help manage anxiety levels.
Regret
Acceptance Techniques: Accept that everyone makes mistakes; focus on lessons learned rather than dwelling on past choices.
Future Planning: Set new goals based on what you've learned from past regrets, turning them into positive action steps.
Talk It Out: Discuss regrets with a friend or therapist who can provide perspective and support.
Suffering
Seek Meaning: Look for meaning in suffering through personal growth or helping others who are struggling.
Express Emotions: Use creative outlets like art or writing to express what you’re going through.
Mindfulness Practices: Engage in mindfulness or meditation to cultivate acceptance of suffering as part of life.
Frustration
Identify Triggers: Keep a journal to identify what specifically frustrates you and explore solutions or coping strategies.
Physical Activity: Release pent-up frustration through exercise or physical activity.
Reframe Expectations: Adjust expectations about situations that cause frustration; focus on what is within your control.
Fear
Exposure Therapy Techniques: Gradually expose yourself to fears in a safe environment to desensitize yourself over time.
Cognitive Restructuring: Challenge irrational fears by examining evidence against them and reframing thoughts positively.
Grounding Techniques: Use grounding techniques during moments of fear, such as focusing on your senses.
Greed
Gratitude Practices: Regularly practice gratitude for what you have rather than focusing on what you lack.
Volunteering: Engage in community service or helping others, which can shift focus from accumulation to contribution.
Mindful Spending Habits: Reflect on purchases before making them; ask if they align with your values.
Sadness
Emotional Expression: Allow yourself to feel sadness without judgment; express it through writing or talking it out.
Connect with Others: Spend time with supportive friends or family who can uplift you during sad times.
Engage in Activities You Enjoy: Participate in hobbies or activities that bring joy and distraction from sadness.
Disgust
Explore Underlying Causes: Reflect on why certain things trigger disgust; understanding these triggers can help mitigate reactions.
Desensitization Techniques: Gradually expose yourself to what you find disgusting in small doses until it becomes more manageable.
Practice Acceptance of Differences: Work on accepting diversity in people and experiences, which can reduce feelings of disgust.
Envy
Shift Focus to Self-Growth: Instead of comparing yourself with others, set personal goals based on your values and aspirations.
Celebrate Others' Successes: Practice congratulating others genuinely when they succeed; this can foster positive feelings rather than envy.
Gratitude Journaling Again: Regularly write down things you appreciate about your life to counteract feelings of envy.
Anger
Anger Management Techniques: Learn techniques such as deep breathing or counting to ten before reacting in anger[3].
Express Anger Constructively: Use "I" statements to express feelings without blaming others (e.g., "I feel angry when...").
Physical Outlet for Anger: Engage in physical activities like sports or martial arts as a healthy outlet for anger.
Resentment
Forgiveness Workbooks/Exercises: Engage in exercises focused on forgiveness towards those who have wronged you[5].
Open Dialogue About Feelings: Communicate feelings of resentment with the person involved if it feels safe and appropriate[4].
Focus on Personal Growth: Redirect energy spent on resentment towards personal development and self-improvement.
Unworthiness
Affirmations for Self-Worth: Practice daily affirmations that reinforce your value and worthiness as a person[4].
Challenge Negative Beliefs About Yourself: Identify limiting beliefs that contribute to feelings of unworthiness and work on reframing them positively[4].
Seek Professional Support if Needed:** Consider therapy for deeper exploration into self-worth issues.
Lack
Focus on Abundance Mindset:** Shift perspective from scarcity (what you lack) to abundance (what you have) through gratitude practices[5].
Set Achievable Goals:** Create small goals that lead towards fulfilling needs rather than feeling overwhelmed by lack[4].
Engage in Community:** Connect with community resources that provide support for needs you may feel lacking.
These strategies aim not only at alleviating the immediate emotional discomfort but also at fostering long-term resilience and emotional intelligence.