Self-Criticism

Do you often find fault in yourself and others?

“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.” ~ Theodore Roosevelt

In other words: Don’t complain about your world. Take steps to make it better.

Part 1

Part 2

Strategies to overcome self-criticism

  1. This cake may not have frosting, but it's still cake. Don't fixate on the 10% that could be better, focus on the 90% that is good.
  2. Make a list of all the attributions you appreciate about [FILL IN] instead of the things you don't like.
  3. Notice when the urge arises to say something and don't act. The mantra sometimes it's better to do nothing rings true. Or tell yourself it can wait. Then sleep on it - better yet, wait 48 hours. If it still needs to be said, then say it. But more often by then, you'll forget about it or have no problem saying let it pass.
  4. Remember that your feelings are created by your thoughts and not reality. It's your thinking that is the seed of all criticism and you don't need to believe everything you think.
  5. Be the one who has nothing to prove. Self-confidence is rooted in this POV. When you criticize, you attend to an outcome outside your control. Doing so only amplifies your unwillingness to be with what is.

Criticism - whether self or otherwise is toxic energy.

When Writing

Writer's block happens when writers become more interested in the outcome of their efforts and lose sight of the process itself. An indication you're heading down this unproductive path is when you try to make your work perfect and are concerned about the opinions of others. Harsh self-criticism erupts.

Instead, remind yourself of the first time you did something. You had nothing to lose. Get back to that place.

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