Cultivating Contentment
We seek happiness, yet happiness is fleeting. It's here one moment and gone the next. What we ought to instead be seeking is contentment.
By design, happiness is unexpected. The more we search for it, the more elusive it is. When we expect it, it rarely shows up. In fact, expectations alone can thwart happiness altogether! Think about the last movie you enjoyed. If you went to expecting it to be good, did it live up to your expectations? If you went to it without a single expectation, were you surprised it was good? It's why once you've read the book, the movie rarely lives up to it!
Sidebar: This gets into something in regards to prejudices and preconceived notions. The halo effect. False assumptions about somebody or something.
Metrics of happiness
Whose defining what makes us happy? Is it culture? Is it marketing? Is it our parents? Our friends? Our spouse?
Or is it us?
Pain vs. suffering
Is suffering a habit? Although the pain is gone, do we continue to suffer? If your life have moved on, but your stuck in the last chapter you just read?
The View
We live in a constant continuum of pleasant, neutral and unpleasant. Every moment, activity, and exchange moves the needle.
'The View' is a buddhist term that refers to our ability to see this and to be content in all 3 states (and every variation of such).
Does a good life require we spend all our time in the pleasant state? I think you'll find you put yourself through a lot of unnecessary suffering if you live this way.
Two paths to cultivate contentment:
- Discern the truth
- Appreciate what we have
Discern the truth
Recognize that we are alive, here now, and human. Alive as human beings and not here as an insect, chicken, or cow. That we live where we live and not in some war torn part of the world.
Appreciation and Gratitude
There are entire courses on this topic, but the basic premise is to recognize our blessings.
Happiness is impermanent.
Drama
It's takes others to fuel the drama in our lives. Others will fuel the drama! Don't go there. Be stoic. You can accept everything as it comes, without judging it's it good or bad. You are getting clues as to which way to go next. If you are sad, angry, or anxious - it's a clue to do something about it!