Complain

"Complaints are excuses, and excuses are for the weak minded." ~ DJ Khaled

Complaints can affect your future by bringing the present into it. So, to keep your future bright, it's best to avoid complaints.

Complaints are an act of bringing the past into the future.

For Lent 2024, I'm giving up complaining. I realize I do it ALL THE TIME.

"Complaints are taking the past into the future."

The Complainers Remedy

"I'm ______, but I can _______."

It's really that simple. By adding the "But I can..." your brain goes to work to find a solution (or not).

Examples:

I'm hot, but I can take off my shoes, take a cold shower, eat frozen grapes, or drink a glass of ice water to lower my core temperature.

I'm overwhelmed, but I can make a list and start something I can complete.

Level 1 - Definition

What is a complaint? Are you aware you're doing it?

What's the payoff of a complaint? Is there value in drawing attention to the obvious?

Complaining is finding fault. Finding fault is judging. Judging is casting blame (for something that may or may not be within our control). Stop complaining!

Level 2 - Awareness

What if the only things that concerned are limited to what's within our control? The good news is that you can let everything else go!

Things within my control

• The food I eat
• The fees I charge
• The friends I make time for
• The clients I reach out to (or respond to)
• The calls I make & the emails I send
• The words I say and write
• The thoughts I act on (maybe not 100% given conditioning)
• When/How I exercise
• What I spend

Things outside my control

• The actions of others
• How others behave
• How others respond
• How others feel
• The opinion of others
• Politics

I took a vow to not complain for a year, and it was this effort that led me to the question: "What if only complained about thing within my control to change?" Seems pointless to complain what's not within my control if I can't change it. Instead, my complaints about things I can control are actually things I'm working on and have identified as areas to improve. It's validated by the Serenity Prayer: "God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, Courage to change the things I can, And wisdom to know the difference."

Chronic complaints: You've heard of chronic pain.

Level 3 - Action

From this moment, become aware of your complaints. Ask yourself if the complaint relates to something within your control or not. If no, then let it go. If yes, then make it part of your action plan. In fact, get busy on it now and soon the complaint will be gone forever.

Ask the question: "What can I do about this right now?"

Examples:

I am not generating enough recognition (and income) for my expertise. Q. What can you do about this?

Complaints and Criticism

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