Last night at SLOlio I met Jack. He shared an insight with me that struck me with a wave of happiness. Here's what he shared.
"In my late 20's, I dreaded turning thirty. I figured if I died in my 30's, I'd be fine with that because the 20's were my best years. Then in my late 30's I dreaded turning 40. I figured if I died in my 40's, I'd be fine with that because the 30's were my best years. As I approached 50, I begin to appreciate my life much more because every ten years were better than the last - and I wanted to stick around for as many as I could."
Today Jack is more concerned about his health. He's mostly vegan and strives to a stick to a healthy diet.
As I approach my 50's, my wife and I have had the same conversation as Jack. We figured if death came knocking, it wouldn't be the worst thing. Life over the past few years as felt like an increasing burden. It often felt like a constant scramble to keep up in a race we were always behind in.
Then I watched the Tony Robbins Netflix documentary. I've always been a fan of Tony, but that documentary took him up a notch. He's raw, uncensored - and as he puts it 'The real fucking deal.'
I jotted down several takeaways from the documentary, and no doubt will watch it again after some time has set in. But the most impactful quote from Tony:
I believe a big part of the funk I'd been stuck in was due to expecting a result I wasn't getting. From myself, from others, from work, and from my hobbies - none of it seemed to be living up to my expectations. I felt like I was living life right, doing everything I knew to do, but life wasn't giving back as it had in years prior.
More than 4 years ago, we moved back to California from Colorado. The adjustment has been major for us. It was long before we were facing a reality of the many reasons we had left before (over 15 years ago). The biggest stressors for me had been the cost of living and the traffic. What convinced us to move back was the weather and the proximity to family and friends.
While moving back closer to family has been mostly positive (more so for my wife who was closer to her parents), the friends we had here became far less impressed with us. I anticipated a 20% increase in the cost of living, but it's more like 40%.
Two 'life events' impacted us within a year of moving.
One, my wife's mother got cancer and died within 6 months.
Two, my business dropped 40% after Amazon revamped their partner program.
So all the sudden, we are facing a financial hardship. It weighs heavy on me, forcing me to work more and enjoy less of the beautiful California sunshine (and ocean) we came back for.
"California is a beautiful place to visit, but I wouldn't want to live there" became my mantra.
What helped me cope was an amazing community of people who had a passion in writing, meditation, mindfulness, yoga, and music (ukulele). Aspects that have become part of my daily regimen.
Then it hit me...
I enjoy a challenge. In fact, over the past few years, what was missing in my life? Challenges. So I invented one.
Our experience of reality is predominantly subjective. If you aren't happy here, you won't be happy there. What would you really do with all that extra time & money away? You'd just seek out new challenges anyway.
So starting today, I'm putting on the filters that all is good. That I am doing work I enjoy, being reward for it both intrinsically and financially. I am stepping up to the role I am here to play.