What is YOUR definition of success?
Don't let others dictate what success means. And be leary of taking advice from others on how to be successful because their definition of success is different than yours... so why would you follow their recipe?
Before you seek success, get clear on what success truly means to you. And whatever you do, never let society define success for you.
Envy: When you dig into envy, it's usually because you are letting success be defined by someone else. You are comparing your success to their success - and that's a recipe for envy or resentment.
Tall Poppy: Can you ever be cut down when your definition of success is unique?
A client once shared his definition of success, and it's so good that I've adopted it for myself:
Success is doing more of what you want and less of what you don't.
It's not a reflection of how much money you earn. If you are wealthy, but hate what you do, you are not successful by this definition of success.
If what you do allows you to do more of the things you enjoy, then you are successful.
As long as you are moving towards success, you are successful.
By redefining success, you can make everyday successful just by doing things that move you towards doing what you love.
I recently took a cruise with my wife. I was not having fun because the entire idea (in my mind) was defined by societies (or rather 'marketers') definition of success (rather than my own).
My definition of success is time with loved ones. To live with less anxiety. Yoga, music, meditation, and nature. Reading, writing, and time to reflect and just be present. Less is more is preferred over 'more is more.' I strive to making a smaller impact, not a bigger one.
As I revisit this post, I realize that my definition of success has changed over time. What this means is what I value today is not necessarily what I value tomorrow.
Maybe you love finding out what you love. Discovering new aspects of life, previously unseen, is a love of mine. I also love discovering new things about myself. To find out what I can do. To appreciate what I can't. It's all in the name of exploration, and I am an explorer. Trial and error is a rite of passage.
To test my limits on a daily basis and expand my comfort zone.
To discover my limits and expand the limits of others.
Part of my job is book marketing. Success is defined by the ranking of that book compared to other books in the same category. It would be unfair to compare the sales rank of a fiction book to a non-fiction book because they are totally different markets.
Likewise in our own livelihoods... it's unfair to compare yourself to someone in a different 'genre.'
Integrity is living in alignment with your core values. To act in accordance with them makes for a successful day.
Fear is what tends to knock us off course. Fear of conflict is a biggie for me personally. Not only am I a people pleaser, but I do everything I can to avoid conflict. Both of these are rooted in fear of not being included (a set of childhood experiences cemented this belief early in my life - I was left behind in an elevator when I was 3 years old. I recall not being picked for the dodgeball team on the elementary school playground because of my size.)
Sidebar: As time expands (and I with it), I've discovered that one of the distinctions of success comes with reframing conflict as a positive. We can't move forward without it.
Look closely at your framework of expectations, actions, outcomes. The communities we gravitate towards will tend to be aligned with our values.
If your expectation of success is defined by the so-called 'good life' that marketers define by what requires wealth, you'll never be successful (no matter how much you have, the cycle of marketing is to convince you there's always something better to obtain). Pay attention: The marketers are selling you products and services that put your money in their pocket so they can fulfill their own definition of success (which may be entirely different from what they are selling you).
In fact, for a time, although I was living the good life on the central coast by the standards of many - I suffered inside because a lack of fulfillment and unhappiness which were caused by a lack of expectations consistent with my circumstances.
Expectations is a biggie. It falls under the topic of one-sided agreements. Here's the trap we often fall into...
We expect life to be a struggle to succeed. When we do the work, we expect something in return. We can justify our means to the end. The end is what we feel we are entitled to. Marketers are the culprits for much unhappiness in our culture. If I were in charge of the world, I would put warning labels (like the ones on cigarettes vs pharmaceutical drugs) on advertising. Something to the effect: "Warning: The ad you are about to watch may cause feelings of unworthiness, elicit envy, and plant seeds of entitlement in your head."
It's the expectations set by others that we struggle to meet. Remove the expectations, you remove the struggle.
We must consider the mentors others have had when we look at their TER triangle:
Look at the TER triangle (Time, Expectations, Results).
Never let others define success for you. I just shared my definition of success. What's yours?
Although predisposed is technical a word used to describe the past tense, why wait to use it?
If you look back on your life a year from now, wouldn't you state you were predisposed for a successful intention?
I've determined it's the questions we ask ourselves throughout the day tend to have the greatest influence. As such, I'm using a template we 'fence' my daily actions toward success.
Q1. What's your BHAG for the day, week, month, quarter, year?
Getting outside my comfort zone.
Q2. Does my daily agenda reflect time
Many people can set goals, but just as many people can get sidetracked. High, lofty goals take a while to achieve, so there is plenty of time to be tempted to stray. Often, the things that sidetrack people can be good—but not the best. Successful people do not get sidetracked. They stay focused. They know where they are going. They have an ability to say no to the good things in order to get to the best things.
When the going gets tough, many people quit. When the going gets tough for top achievers, they remind themselves of the goals they have set. They remind themselves of what an accomplishment it will be for them and that the reward is worth pushing through temporary trials. They are willing to sacrifice personally in the short term in order to get the reward in the long term. Keeping their eyes on the big picture enables them to persevere through any pain on the way to the top.
Tenacity is the ability to “keep on going.” Successful people keep on going through tough times, through financial troubles, when people question them, when they are tired—even when they would rather quit. They keep on going because they know the prize is ahead, and they won’t quit before they get there.
Successful people know they cannot be lone rangers on the way to the top. They know no one makes it by themselves. They recognize their weaknesses—they know where they need more work. They see the resources that can help them get ahead, and they don’t just use them—they utilize them.
https://www.success.com/article/are-you-predisposed-to-success