Where do obligations come from?
If you have a debt, you have an obligation to pay it.
If you give something of value to someone, are they obligated to repay it?
Is obligation a loss of freedom?
What are you truly obligated to in this life? Who are you obligated to? Who are you allowing to obligate you to their requests?
Your request does not constitute an obligation on my part.
What really is obligation?
To be bound by law.
Make a list of all the obligations.
How many of those are obligated by law? I bet very few.
Even if you fail to pay your bills, you are simply breaking a promise. The insurance company is obligated to cover your claims only to the extent that you meet you obligations of paying your monthly bills.
Has entitlement and obligation blurred basic needs?
If American simply provided the most basic human needs, we'd see that we've got those covered. But when we fail to define what basic needs are,
I am dumbfounded by the fact that all the homeless people were I live are given smartphones. I guess it was to give them the opportunity to find a job right? Maybe for safety? How often do they call 911?
But don't you think the incoming homeless person is then entitled to their smartphone?
I couldn't afford a smartphone, so I decided to became homeless to get one.
Obligated carries a negative connotation, while obliged a positive one.
To oblige is to submit.
Are you required to help me or compelled?
Are you bound to my request, left with no other option? Or do I choose to meet your needs in an act of service?
The two perspectives:
Are you...
Obligated to serve.
OR
Obliged to serve.
Seth Godin dives into the subject of obligation and one-way promises in his book What to do when it's your turn in a very productive way.
"The feeling of being owed destroys our ability to do good work."
Learning to step away from an exchange mindset. You do this, and I'll do that... but if you don't appreciate what I do (and by not appreciating, means you don't pay or short pay or ask for a partial refund).
Rohan Rajiv goes on to say...
A lot of human unhappiness is caused by thoughts of what the world and the people in it owe us. These thoughts are caused by the world view — “I am a good person. I’ve done good for … and, so, … owes me for it.”
This world view causes expectation and this expectation results in inevitable disappointment. It is also foolhardy for many reasons; the first of which is that we vastly over estimate the effects of our actions.
Things get much better when we internalize 2 truths –
1. Nobody owes you anything (no, not even a thank you)
2. It is actually you who owes the world and its denizens. You take up space (physical and emotional). And you better have something good to show for it.
So, get over it. Get sh*t done. Be happy.
Here are formal definitions, but the mistake is to apply these to every situation!
synonyms: require, compel, bind, constrain, obligate, leave with no option but, force
"it was impractical to oblige taxis to carry infant seats" do as (someone) asks or desires in order to help or please them. "oblige me by not being sorry for yourself"
synonyms: do someone a favor, accommodate, help, assist, serve; More be indebted or grateful.
"if you can give me a few minutes of your time I'll be much obliged" synonyms: thankful, (most) grateful, (most) appreciative; More
bind or compel (someone), especially legally or morally. "the medical establishment is obligated to take action in the best interest of the public" synonyms: oblige, compel, commit, bind, require, constrain, force, impel "signing the agreement does not obligate you to stay through the end of the program"
commit (assets) as security. "the money must be obligated within thirty days"