Not Fade Away: A short life well lived

Peter Barton

By increments so exquisitely gradual that they might have passed unnoticed, I could have ended up being totally untrue to myself and living a life I hated.”

  1. If you work for fun, the money will come. If excitement doesn't exist at the start, it won't likely show up later.
  2. Doing the job will teach you two things: 1. the job itself, and 2. who you need to become to complete it.
  3. Eventually you become who you pretend to be. (p120)
  4. You'll never accomplish anything if you're afraid to look bad trying.
  5. I finally felt the freedom of being entirely rooted in the here and now... when I accepted the fact that I was dying. Impermanence (p97)
  6. Readiness isn't something that appears all at once. It's arrives incrementally, along with anxiety and fear (p122).

My reflections

Adulthood. Even as I approach 47, I still don't feel like a grown up. As long as I am clinging, reaching, and grasping for something I don't yet have, I don't feel as if I am responsible for any of it.

Am I still trying to understand my place in the world?

Will I always feel inferior to others? Is being born 2nd a curse to feel as if I will be in 2nd place my entire life?

Acceptance. I believe my maturity gained over the past year stems largely from acceptance to what is. Acceptance to my place in life, the ramifications of the decisions that have led me to where I am in this precise moment.

The biggest relief came when I stopped beating myself for making decisions that in hindsight I would have made differently. It's not until the decision is made that he wisdom arrives to make a better decision. The obstacle is one of not being able to go back in time and decide otherwise. Or can you?

Doing the job will teach you two things: 1. the job itself, and 2. who you need to become to complete it.

The sooner you make a decision, the sooner you can gain the wisdom to make better decisions in the moment of decision.

You'll never accomplish anything if you're afraid to look bad trying.

True understanding can only be gained by experiencing it for yourself. As much as you think knowledge can give you what you need, at best, knowledge is like guardrails - there to keep you on the road.

Resignation and acceptance.
Maturity is reached when we are resigned to accept who we are.